"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
09/10/2018 at 10:00 • Filed to: SQUIRREL
2
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"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
09/10/2018 at 10:00 • Filed to: SQUIRREL | 2
| 22 |
My morning commute involves a 5-minute stretch of winding road with lots of hills, mostly a residential area with a few businesses. As we’re approaching a farm stand, a car in front of me slows a bit and taps their brakes. No problem, it’s reasonable to expect someone to slow down past the farm stand; it’s kind of a blind hill. But then I notice they’re still braking, and before I know it I find myself in full-on threshold braking to avoid hitting this car (luckily there was no one behind me)
. I had been giving them plenty of room, by the way. That gap closed fast.
Then I see why.
This must have been the driver’s reaction to seeing a furry little woodland creature darting across the road - something that is EXTREMELY COMMON by the way, and in fact, it’s happening so much recently that it made the local news. No, really:
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Ok, maybe they got flustered by looking at the farm stand, then
looking back and seeing t
he squirrel at the last second
... who knows? I gave them a little extra room after that
though. Which was good because about 2 miles later THEY DID IT AGAIN - full on panic stop in the middle of a 40mph zone at 8:45am on a weekday. Because of a squirrel.
My only question is,
how have they not caused an accident yet?
Just this morning, I probably saw five squirrels crossing the road. That’s a lot of panic for one day.
This person should have their license revoked. That behavior is more dangerous than speeding, by a factor of 10. Try that business in front of a fully-loaded logging truck, which is not an uncommon sight on this road.
themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
> functionoverfashion
09/10/2018 at 10:03 |
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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
E90M3
> functionoverfashion
09/10/2018 at 10:07 |
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The key is to try and swerve to hit them, because you never can.
Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness
> functionoverfashion
09/10/2018 at 10:08 |
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I’ve come to the realization that the majority of drivers should not be driving.
KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
> functionoverfashion
09/10/2018 at 10:08 |
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Shit like this gets people killed. Seriously folks, I love animals as well but anything Raccoon sized or smaller, don’t panic stop. Try to slow down maneuver out of the way a s safely s possible. If you hit it you hit it.
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functionoverfashion
> themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
09/10/2018 at 10:08 |
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YES, that’s amazing. I love the cars that spontaneously explode in a pile after the second one.
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functionoverfashion
> KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
09/10/2018 at 10:11 |
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Holy hell, that’s awful. Yup, it’s really, really bad. I mean, a moose or something... that’s a bit different because it could also hurt or kill YOU. But a squirrel... sorry not sorry.
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functionoverfashion
> E90M3
09/10/2018 at 10:13 |
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All I do is let off the throttle at most. If my kids are in the car I say “go squirrely go!!” in a cartoon voice and they laugh, and then if there’s a thump-thump they go “awww, didn’t make it!” hahahaha
LOREM IPSUM
> functionoverfashion
09/10/2018 at 10:24 |
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You're not supposed to panic stop for the big stuff either, like moose, as it increases the chances of it coming through the windshield afaik.
Urambo Tauro
> functionoverfashion
09/10/2018 at 10:32 |
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Ran over a cat once. Not enough room to brake, so it was either the cat, a mailbox, or the oncoming car. No regrets, and I don’t even hate cats.
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functionoverfashion
> Urambo Tauro
09/10/2018 at 10:48 |
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Yep, I’d feel terrible, but that is the right answer.
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functionoverfashion
> LOREM IPSUM
09/10/2018 at 10:51 |
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Probably true. A local nature center (yes, ironically) hit a moose with a chrysler minivan years ago. Probably going 50 or 60? It went over the top, dented the roof, otherwise van and passengers were totally unscathed. Moose... not so much I suspect.
They never did fix the dent in the roof and kept using the van as-is for years.
haveacarortwoorthree2
> Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness
09/10/2018 at 11:25 |
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Majority of people breathing should not be breathing. #thanoshaditright
Sorry, shitty morning here.
TheTurbochargedSquirrel
> functionoverfashion
09/10/2018 at 11:32 |
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There were dead squirrels everywhere when I was driving back to school yesterday. You would come across 3 or 4 carcasses at a time on the highway. In the ~100 miles I spent on the highway yesterday I probably saw 30-40 dead squirrels.
Ash78, voting early and often
> functionoverfashion
09/10/2018 at 11:49 |
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What?!
There are people who still think squirrels are worth saving?
Obviously they’ve never had one (or ten) in their attic or crawlspace. #2 source of house fires in North America. Run THEM ALL OVER and shoot/trap/kill the rest.
The only regret I have is depriving the hawks of an easy lunch.
Rodents can all die now.
/sorry, it’s personal.
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Ash78, voting early and often
> functionoverfashion
09/10/2018 at 11:50 |
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This is the correct approach :D
I won’t say I swerve towards them, but I definitely don’t correct my path at all.
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Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness
> haveacarortwoorthree2
09/10/2018 at 11:58 |
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Won’t get any argument from me.
Hope your day gets better.
Duck Duck Grey Duck FTMFW!
> functionoverfashion
09/10/2018 at 12:02 |
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Jesus!!! Lol
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Duck Duck Grey Duck FTMFW!
> functionoverfashion
09/10/2018 at 12:04 |
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I stop for the deer and the turkeys on the one country road I take into work because they are EVERYWHERE!!!
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functionoverfashion
> TheTurbochargedSquirrel
09/10/2018 at 12:10 |
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My wife noticed this on her highway commute, too. I guess enough people brought it up that it made it onto the local news.
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functionoverfashion
> Ash78, voting early and often
09/10/2018 at 12:14 |
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Seriously, they are cute and all, until they’re in your house.
Years ago my parents had them eating through the cedar shingles on their roof, then going into the attic. That side of the roof was ~25 years old, due for replacement, but they couldn’t get someone to do it for several months. So my father was replacing individual
shingles
every time they ate/clawed through another one. Finally someone suggested, “if you can’t beat ‘em, invite ‘em in!” And my father propped up a shingle to allow them free passage, so they wouldn’t keep making holes. Then he set traps in the attic (they were there before, too). I wish I had a picture of “the squirrel dormer” - it worked perfectly.
gogmorgo - rowing gears in a Grand Cherokee
> functionoverfashion
09/10/2018 at 14:13 |
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One of my first summer jobs, my coworker was like that. She absolutely would stand on the brakes any time there was something that ran out onto the road. Ground squirrels. Richardson’s ground squirrels. Tossed us into the windshield three or four times a day for f ucking gophers.
One day I was driving, and while I didn't try to hit them, I didn't go to huge efforts to miss either. But I hit one, and she was inconsolable for the rest of the day.
Just Jeepin'
> KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time
09/12/2018 at 12:30 |
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Speaking of evaluating animal size in order to decide whether to swerve (and also related to ducks) our local zoo sent their penguins to New Orleans a decade or so ago while renovating the enclosure.
One of the truck drivers reached down to retrieve her phone from the floor, lost control, and the truck tipped over on the highway. Penguins out on the interstate, getting slaughtered.
How often do you see that?